Logbook: site stuff
The problem with chronic Pain and Pain scales.
As a pain scale , they are amazing things. they measure the amount of pain you are in the given moment. The problem is the pain scale is great if you fall off a house and go yes this pain is at a 9. But as a chronic pain sufferer, What does a 9 mean ? is that 3 more than your baseline? is it 9 more than your baseline. When you ask a doctor about it you get , Just tell me what it feels like. but when you live at a 6 in pain, and can tolerate a 10 what do you tell your doctor?
More times than not if I have injured myself my pain tolerance is epic, I have taken 24 needles to the legs while holding a conversation with a medical student. My figure is i have a rare condition this is the guys one chance to see a zebra for once and give him any knowledge i have. I even tell the student, My tolerances are higher than you can imagine. While i watch people wait for a nurse and scream their head off as a nurse goes by i find it a waste of time. I internalize my pain, I use every bit of concentration not to scream, and at times it does not work in my favor. You get a doctor that thinks he’s god, he will every time send you away with two Tylenol and a note in the system as “poss seeker”
Although … I’ve had my moments. Told the doctor my pain was at 9.5 , he said you don’t seem to have anything wrong . 4 hours later and the ER tried to wait me out , I forced my hand and asked for an x-ray. the funny part was getting the X-ray tech running off and than coming back with the doc and him going . shit it is broken!
But the scale that is on the wall is horseshit. 1 to 9 . with no arbitrary idea of where to start and end. I think there should be two scales. One scale for the mean pain , your chronic pain, your menstrual pain, your general pain. THan the scale on the wall
because if you are having a 6 day on your mean scale and on the other pain scale you are having an 8 . than put your end number at 14. so , 6 1 2 3 4 5 8 vs, Just 6 . So on a day where you are already at 9 , even a 4 on current charges is overwhelming. if my tolerance can go to 10 it does not mean i am functional at 10 , the Pain debt past 10 gets overwhelming quick. Can i function past 10 yes. Can i function at 20 .. no . but at a collective 15 it’s like walking around with a dead weight the size of yourself.
Both Scales should be there. that way a doctor gets a better baseline. If you are at a 2 mean and add a 7 for the wall scale , you can likely get away with a large dose of Motrin. but if you are at 5 and stack a 7 on it Motrin is like trying to put out a fire with pocket sand.
To a person with chronic pain life is like a flywheel that keeps us going. it may be a little out of balance, but the more out of balance it is when we have a critical failure like a fall . That flywheel might be putting us so far out of bounds that adding new weight to it (pain) we are in the worst state possible from a small weight (pain) .
So when I am in the hospital looking normal, sometime i have that coffee to my lips to keep me from screaming. I’d rather use that energy to divert to enjoying the coffee rather than throwing it in angry because I feel like something is killing me.
So on a day you see me sitting more than normal with a coffee and I’m not saying much . It’s not because I have a little to say , It’s because I am trying to keep centered and not trying to scream.
My personal stance on AI.
AI can be a great and terrible thing. But, I feel like AI in its current form is crap, companies trying to shove it into everything possible like AI lawn mowers. Why stick a computer in a lawn Mower that tries to use GPS that ends up killing your neighbors roses when you can use markers on your lawn. AI coffee pots? no give me a power button damn it. Web browsing is been enshittified to make the AI browsing more “effective”. In the past you could search something on google without 10 pages of garbage because the search results were vetted, Checked and than indexed by computer.
The problem with AI is it is centralized, We have to ask one machine. We have to ask one machine to talk to another machine to talk to the software that talks to another machine that turns on a light bulb. It is this fragmented centralization we pay the devils due to. By saying hey _____ turn on the light, The machine took your input, checked your associations figured out which company owns the light bulb , gave up your data , gave up usage and likely sniffed your network just to make a 5000 mile trip halfway across the world to turn on your light bulb less than 10 feet from you. By the time you weigh out your privacy cost your cool colorful light bulb sniffed your network or your bluetooth and found you have a bluetooth vibrator in your house. The app that controls your light bulb is now giving your personal massager ads now.
Now that i firmly have shit on centralized AI, I need to make the opposite argument for AI. Having a deeply centralized machine to an intuitive person can be amazing. Research that was done with hours of pouring over google, bing, Yahoo because they all index differently, with a side dish of wikipedia’s articles with the comments on wiki took hours, Now with AI you can ask the question have AI either excerpt it or in my case show me point of view that conflict each other to get a more whole perspective on thing is great. but, There is one caveat, Vet your research, do not assume AI is always right . Just like a librarian your helpful AI will bring you boundless information on your subject of research, but if your AI librarian gets confused just like the human can give you output that makes you go what the fuck? But if you properly vet your research (meaning: check its work) with the AI , It can find information that before would take hours between 3 search engines 1 online encyclopedia and 3 cups of coffee, you spent your day researching on the failures of the “streaming industry” and you’ve barely started your work. Now with AI you can work AI as a vetted peer researcher, you can tell it when it is wrong. The websearch that was the past took know how of using the web search keys like “” – + that 99% of people do not use.
Where my final thoughts here is… Do we need a centralized AI? Yes and NO. Why because centralized information for an AI makes for great research. But does my home device need to connect to that to turn on a light? Fuck no , that device should use a cut down version of the AI locally that only knows how to turn on lights , Adjust your heat and the other simple joys around the house, If you have a AI coffeepot or teapot Call me when you can do “Tea Earl Grey hot” or “coffee whole milk, semi sweet”. Only when decentralized AI does not understand the query should it ever “phone home” .
Sometimes, with AI the same goes for image generation, It is useful, but right now its just massive shitposting. If I as a photoshop user want to save several hours making an image I will annotate to the AI the image I want but I will not take any claim to it . I wont hide the tagging Gemini puts on the image because it is a time saver to me. And a lot of the times I let the image generation do what it wants because sometimes its funny as hell to watch the smaller hallucinations of a peer check on an article play out in the image. In my life if an AI saves me an hour creating an image I will let it come up with something. In my real life with my canon camera I will never let AI touch an image I take, I prefer nature and the perfect chaos that real life is to capture the best image. I prefer a natural smile to an AI “fixed” image. they look plastic.
So while you may read into my visions to AI as hate , its more like critique for a better world where information is not sold but given to make us better as people. Otherwise whole saleing information behind locked doors just makes us look as bad as the 1100s.
This post is long and if you have got this far without AI summarizing it for you, Enjoy your next sip of coffee and give pat yourself on the back. Im proud of you.
Site back to working order.
Had to take my site down due to fuckery with SEO tools . Overall, The site should be faster now. In its simplest form Yoast updated a plugin that made me realize that something was going on in the back end of the site. I have removed Yoast due to them enshittification. Yoast it seems has move some of its SEO tools the the paid end of things with little to no notice. I think if they are going to do that might be nice to send a notification. For now i will sit back and enjoy my coffee.
When Companies pick apart their software and sell off each piece as a service they can stick it up their rectum. They run the plug-in like they are the snap on tool truck that wants to sell you each time you use a wrench.
I have updated some stuff , nothing front facing.. Just a bit under the hood.
This site is almost old enough to drink in the US
Holy shit, funny that a site i made when i got bored of making sites and webpages from my host.
Well soon enough can tip a beer to my site. damn. outlived a lot of things. Google+ Myspace and more.
Phone Fun (Pixel 9 xl pro) .. Part live action reboot!
So here we are 8 years later and sadly I have not updated this blog in ages. I think it’s time to go back to the roots.
With age we tend to lose some abilities. I like having a smaller screen or used to. The realm of the battleship sized screen always used to Irk me because I would be thinking where the fuck am i going to put this thing.
Honestly…. though I think i need to change my benchmark points here. When i used to post my old phone funs, my benchmarks were
1: To make Phone calls – I do think this singularly is still one of the most important things.
2: Configurability – I am not sure if this point is really valid in some ways the way i used to review phones. but, add/make ringtones and Applications should be bound into one thing now. These are almost a universal given these days.
3: Durability: This is still really important. with phones with back glass which is really fucking stupid, I should not expect to have a phone that you need to hold in a bubble.
4: Good battery life – this is hugely important.
So anyways… Here we go!
The Pixel 9 xl Pro … this phone is huge, you could land a small helicopter on it. The phone has a lot going for it. The early reviews were calling the phone out for not being powered by a stark Arc reactor and Ai …. While it has AI its really a point of Who the fuck cares that is on the phone. It has enough power to run any app on the store. google will never risk bifurcating the app store and have an app that will not run on all current phones.
1: To make Phone calls
For phone calls the pixel 9 xl pro gives a decent experience. the volume is decent the Bluetooth options are always nice. In reality in the past phone calls had more weirdness in the call quality area. Now it seems that call quality is more governed by signal…. which is annoying. With the collapse of options in the USA for companies phone call quality has more to do where you are standing than the phone itself. it is like the old days with walkie talkies. So given that location is an issue it would be nice for the phone companies to start working for more coverage in the urban environment , Do not show the bullshit maps of WE COVER EVERYWHERE…
2: Configurability
Pixel phones are generally one of the most configurable devices on the market. if you want to change your phone in to Dora the explorers backpack I’m sure you can do that. Ringtones, got that too. The app store however….. Now there is an issue. There needs to be more checks and balances in the app stores for google and others. App dilution is really at a maximum where you can search for an app you want and know what it is and accidently install some other bullshit app. Google should phase out older apps unless you specifically need them, give the users the ability to fence the types of apps you want. the updates for apps has become a bit more of a chore and while simple , its stupid.
3: Durability
Also with configurability , Phone case fall into this! I’ve bought phones that did not have options for a phone case or you have to wait for the next coming of jesus for a case to ship out (motorola) . Pixel phones always tend to have a good amount of cases with a slow rollout for choice. Getting a day one phone has one real risk. you get your new shiny phone and twenty minutes into owning the device you drop it and you see shards of glass. Generally pixels have some decent survival on drops.
4: Good battery life
This has always been a thorn in my side since phones have gotten “smart”. With the new phones added with bullshit technology such as AI and clouds, AI is a joke. its just a replacement of linear learning AI . It’s just standard problem solving we have had for 20+ years dressed up in a new coat of paint so our corporate overlords can brand it as SAS . But back to the battery … It is nice …. nicer than i’ve seen in years. Getting almost 3 days is amazing. That is more time than i’ve seen in 10 years.
5: overall impressions and opinions.
I think the idea of a phone is lost on companies. they are looking to turn the phones into the same devices we had in the 1980s …. The television. where all the phones functions are tied into advertisements and bullshit. almost every app is tied to the advertising , our information is being sold off for every tap , Every picture every move we make. this is horse shit. AI is a joke, it is not going to take jobs. moreover it is going to kill people in a non-terminator way, Almost every part of our phones has some insane subscription . the “assistant” on the pixel is helpful but it is no more helpful than the old assistant. Google seems to be dumbing down their old assistant to make the Gemini look smarter than it is . these new assistants are trained off of our words and our posts and more over it is making a linear answering psychopath. You want to learn to fuck ducks. you can now ask google and somehow if you word your phrases just right somehow the “new and improved” ai will find someone reddit post and tell you exactly how. but if you ask the weather… holy fuck . or ask it for something in your IOT .. shit.. i’ve seen the AI loose its mind and tell you some things that you did not want to know like the weather 4000miles away .
Lastly… is the pixel 9xl pro a good phone… time will tell. from the start i am going to say maybe yes. but i will favor the idea that it should be a phone i can have for a few years and not fall off the technology peak. So yes. Buy the phone. Don’t Smell the AI generated Roses and use your phone like any phone without AI .
Well now…..
Well after posting for 15 years on my former site I’ve decided that i am going to give this a try again! This site is always dedicated to coffee and the world around me. So topics will be widely ranged. I feel now is a good time to restart things and I have mirrored all my old post which I admit was a pain in the ass to move. 
So with little fanfare I will say this site is open and the coffee is brewing!
Well ….. FUCK
I have not posted in over two months. Here I’m sitting with a cracker in hand thinking what to do. Again fucking fuckity fucker. I keep forgetting to update here.
It’s June ..
I’ve been updating a little more , its been missed but the atomic bullshit of the world pretty much made the last 3 years a blank spot. In a way I am glad I did not post and in another way I know i should of. Sometimes the clarity of the world is a bit brighter in pixels when you can weed out the bullshit. 
Bullshit is everywhere , Everyone trying to forward there own agendas just to do something what they want to do without care for others , and when its brought up its brought up in a way that they bring the person staying out into the bullshit. With all of the bullshit thought I remain happy in way , Happier than I’ve been in ages. I wake up knowing the bullshit is outside when I wake up and in parts of my body but none the less the mornings start bullshit freeish*.
The annoyance of where the bullshit starts is me, my bullshit body more specifically … I was given a bad hand in the genetics department and if I wrote everything down here that was known about my genetics you’d all go that’s bullshit. I live in pain day to day , and its really bullshit, to the point that I do not feel like bullshiting with people because my pain is to the degree of bullshit. The degree of things I do to keep myself going is pretty maddening to say the least, though I always say things could be worse. I spent the last year trying to get down on my medications in order not to feel like another bullshit situation that has darkened the last few years.
I’ve got to the point where therapy actually has done more harm than good and its really one of those moments that makes you reflect on what kind of bullshit I have to deal with. It is sad when the thing that is supposed to help me heal is actually diametrically opposed to what it actually did, The bullshit meter is off the charts on that one. 
Its getting to tough times , I am not sure where the future will lead and I know it will be tough but, I know this. I will wake up in the morning and I will say bullshit to the pain I know that will eventually curtail my days actions. I do what I can and I will continue to do what i can. I wake up in pain I goto sleep in pain. There was an episode of House that actually made an expression of how I feel . Here’s a quote.
For all the times I wake up in the morning thinking today will be good I am proven wrong with my body going bullshit and having the feeling of having a hot piece of glass shoved through my arm while having it frozen than hot water splashed liberally over it. It pisses me off , It punishes those around me since I cant do anything. I feel like I have no worth. Worse is when I try to hide my condition because I don’t compassion , I want to be normal and sometimes people just take advantage of It. I hide my pain for other peoples comfort and sometimes its a bit much and I withdraw. Sometimes keeping the “nice” face on is more of a pain than the pain it self. When I show myself its because I am comfortable and I know that who i show myself to cares. but otherwise If your going to walk over me or say something contrary to the position when you have no knowledge of , please keep your bullshit to yourself you’re contributing to global warming from the bullshit that’s spraying from your lips and all the hot air.
To which end.. the people who I let into my world and I let them see under my shell. I am glad they are there. They understand me and have kept me sane enough to wake up every morning and face the bullshit with a smile* (or whatever face i can muster that’s marginally better than agonized.) . Maybe they will never see this post but know this I love them very much for putting up with my bullshit.
Anyhow… Till next post.
PS: the word of the day is bullshit! (22)
Concerning Hobbits …… musings of life.
I’ve not typed anything about me here for ages. I am generally a kept to self person….. The last post about me was about vaping, and how I have quit smoking..
Its been great… I have cut myself down to 1mg of nicotine in the last year . The thing is when I goto a doctor and ask if i smoke and show them the E-cig and explain that I have 1mg nicotine they actually don’t even count me as smoking/vaping. So there is the good shit on that.
Healthwise and half of why I have not been here is my health .. Pain and Numbness have progressed faster than I would like it to, Its a scary factor to say that I cant use half of my arm for some basic functions. With my hands they feel like if you have put them in a snowbank and than poured extremely hot water on them, body-wise i am doing whatever the fuck I can. When I was told by the neurologist that I pretty much damned if I do and Damned if i dont its a pretty fucked up situation there.
With my life there have been many ups and downs and I’ve seen the bottom and I’ve peered at the top , after what happened to me in 2013 I am lucky every day to wake up and find my feet on the ground. But my health has just not kept up with me and I wont let it keep me down. I’ve been bordering the pissed off zone for awhile and I’ve needed an outlet that I can go off on. I fight the challenge of each day and try to live my life.
Just a short update while I fix up things here.
I keep saying I need to post more…..
Its been months since I’ve actually posted consistently.
I have my reasons as my life has been one thing after another… but, I am going to try to get back to this at a regular basis. For one.. I’d rather post here. While facebook is an option its kind of like being in a dog park… Everyone is sniffing your ass wondering what you are doing and whether they agree with you or disagree they blow smoke up your ass if they think your position on things is not in line with theirs. I don’t need that, I really don’t give a fuck if you find my posts on coffee or other stuff offensive. I’m me I’ll post what I want how I want and that is all there is too it.
I’ve always disliked facebook because if someone finds your post offensive to them they can cause trouble…. Mainly you have no creative control over your posts, No style , No way to keep your posts to your target. Sure the website is come one come call , but if you don’t like it … At least on this end of things unlike facebook it does not keep post vomit in your face. Nor do I have to constantly fool with settings inside facebook. I am not going to make it where there is “friend system”. Facebook in it self is a disaster of code. I do not give ten fucks if you need 1023823 friends to get a chicken on your farm to fuck a leopard to get a land expansion. I like simplicity .
As it stands with facebook it is likely everyone of the post you make are analyzed and sold off to marketers. In reality facebook is more like test to see how you respond to certain stimuli. If you took Pavlov’s Dogs and applied it to facebook it would unsurprisingly fit will……
In his initial experiments, Pavlov presented a stimulus and then gave the dog food; after a few repetitions, the dogs started to salivate in response to the bell. Pavlov called the stimulus the conditioned (or conditional) stimulus (CS) because its effects depend on its association with food.
Now lets see how facebook works on the same logic.
In initial experiments, Facebook presented a stimulus and then gave the Human a like; after a few repetitions, the Humans started to Post in response to the like. Facebook called the stimulus the conditioned (or conditional) stimulus (CS) because its effects depend on its association with Liked Post.
Fucking fantastic to know facebook just wants you to be their dog to just get more information out of you. Privacy issues aside which are extreme. Facebook sucks, I’ve given up posting there. I will keep my postings here and if you find them and like them that’s fucking great.
Facebook is a step back in the age of the internet, Its going back to the bottleneck days of everyone has a portal and is stuck in there own prisons like AOL / Compuserve… Mostly to keep you in there own small toxic universes until they melt down and the users get fucked with a roadcone sideways.
All I have too say is…
