Logbook: WTF!?
Elephant shit coffee….. How about no?
When I learned of cat shit coffee I had a good laugh. 50$ for cat shitted coffee … awesome! Kopi Luwak may be a good tasting coffee but it will not outlive the connotations of where it came from.
A Kopi Luwak maker in action.
Now they are trying to get elephants in on the deal and are selling this coffee at a premium. We can thank forbes for this intuitive article ….
In Thailand, a company called Black Ivory Coffee has 20 elephants eat coffee beans and crap out the seeds. They are then harvested (lovingly, I’m sure) from small mountains of elephant droppings and then processed into coffee that runs $275 for 30 espresso cups, or about half a gallon of coffee on the top end. The company selling it tries to talk consumers into buying a special $299 coffee brewer because, after all, when you’re spending hundreds of dollars on special coffee, you want a special way to brew it.
At some point or another this is going to pique the interest of the lower end coffee companies and they are going off on there own tangent in labs to make strange coffees to scare the average consumer into drinking something else.
At any given point you will see dunkin donuts and starbucks hanging around zoos trying there hand in the top in coffee markets and not really give a shit but they will sure take one to get into this market.
The new Dunkin Donuts fast brew station with miralax speed
Does this coffee taste good? It likely does.. have you ever wanted to tell a stock broker or a CEO to eat shit? You likely don’t have to , They already have and liked it. It must be strange to be sitting around and saying well if cats can make coffee why not elephants. Next thing it will be is Cow Shit Coffee , Ferret fart coffee, Zippy Zebra coffee, As there will be buyers lined up around the block with wallets stuffed if it gets enough fanfare.
Weed can kill you man…… Groovy! Nah what the fuck?
I was bored and ran into an article that just had clickbait written all over it .. Marijuana Use Linked to Two Deaths . Hmm ok, thats a new one to me , I will give it a click since maybe they had killer munchies. reading on.
Although marijuana may have a reputation as a relatively harmless drug, a new case report links it to the deaths of two young men in Germany.
From the department of I just want to make a name for myself from the subdivision of facts pulled out of my ass. Now that the article has my attention with that starter I read onwards with expectation of massive death and destruction warnings on how weed will kill everyone on the planet
Toxicological examinations concluded that the men were under the influence of cannabis before they died, and traces of THC — the main active ingredient in marijuana — were found in the men’s blood and brain tissue, the researchers wrote in the report.
Well that tends to happen when you smoke weed, it just doesn’t blow out your ass when you inhale although that would be an interesting side effect. But, Yet this article still has not shown causality that would make me go “HOLY SHIT WEED IS GOING TO KILL ME!”. Alright article you win this round , I’ll keep reading.
In both cases, the deaths were related to cardiovascular complications. In one of the deaths, a 23-year-old man without a history of health problems suddenly collapsed while using public transportation, and died after 40 minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation efforts, according to the case report based on postmortem investigations. The man had a small amount of marijuana in his pockets when he was found, according to the researchers at the Institute of Legal Medicine, University Hospital Duesseldorf in Germany, who reported the case.
Well now he had weed in his pocket… Highly observant but still no connection to the death . Also attention given to no doctors instead “researchers” . Usually when doctors figure out some live altering complication they slap there name all over that shit with “HEY LOOK AT THIS SHIT HERE! I found something that will kill everyone and I’m the guy that found it”. The second case gets even more sketchy for the case of weed VS death.
In the second case described in the report, a 28-year-old man was found dead at home by his girlfriend. An ashtray, rolling paper and a sealable plastic bag containing remnants of marijuana were found next to the body. The man had occasionally used cannabis, the researchers wrote. He had also abused alcohol and drugs, such as amphetamines and cocaine until about two years before his death, they wrote.
Are you fucking kidding me? The fact that the man had smoked weed was more prevalent than the fact that the man had smoked/snorted/inhaled/swallowed/rectally Whatevered fucking all the things that can blow your heart out.. Article I’m loosing you. The fact that the guy did drugs was what likely caused damage to him before he even thought about the cheeze-its in the fridge after taking his first drag off of the weed. Well for fucks sakes lets keep reading and see where journalistic integrity gets you. …
“After exclusion of other causes of death, we assume that the young men died from cardiovascular complications evoked by smoking cannabis,” the researchers wrote.
“We assume the deaths of these two young men occurred due to arrhythmias evoked by smoking cannabis,” but this assumption does not rule out that the men were predisposed to cardiovascular risks, they wrote.
Wait? what?? For fucks sake you just wrote this whole article to completely contradict itself in one sentence… NO SHIT, There was a predisposition using cocaine and amphetamines leaves you just at a slight risk of a predisposition. Again, Without naming names, who wrote this shit anyways ghost written by Mr Mackey…
Nikolas P. Lemos, the chief forensic toxicologist for the San Francisco Medical Examiner’s Office, said there have been confirmed cases in which marijuana has had harmful effects on the heart.
“The potential cardiotoxicity of cannabis has been reported in peer-reviewed abstracts as well as scientific proceedings before, including by my team,” Lemos said.
Well fucking lah dee dah ! A name Holy shit Dr Lemos ! But this line of text is irrelevant! No hard numbers and its just weasel wording. Saying something happened without the statistics to back it up makes it look so much more foreboding. Using this wording I could say that there is a chance of death by having coffee squirt out of your ass and eyeballs because its happened. Moreover I am willing to bet if they used the statistics to back this up it would make it look terrible and give it a statistical chance worse than getting killed by a lightning strike (1 in 700,000), a shark bite (1 in 265,000,000 ) , or a coconut(1:250,000,000) vs the odds of winning powerball (1:275,000,000). How shitty is that.. you are more likely to die from a coconut than win fucking powerball! The odds of dieing from marijuana have to be astronomical.. Meaning you have a better chance of winning powerball! Fuck it game over, I give up on this trash if I read anymore I’ll die of stupidity contracted from Dr. Lemos which is statistically still higher than dieing from marijuana…….
Lemos said he hopes the report will raise awareness of the potential health complications of marijuana use. “I am delighted to see this additional work in hope that medical examiners, coroners and physicians will realize that they need to collect specimens, test for cannabis in post-mortem fluids and consider the contributions of cannabis in the death investigations.
“We simply cannot, any longer, adhere to the old mentality that ‘marijuana does not kill,” Lemos told Live Science. “We are now seeing evidence from my office and elsewhere that it just might.”
Wait What.. why did I keep reading this… My brain hurts. “From my office…. and Elsewhere” WHERE!? at Dr lemos ‘s house while he was taking a shit going “how can i put myself on the map !” . These people are something else… Statistically typing these letters have a higher fatality rate over a lifetime than this shit. Wow.
My final thought to this insanity. Did fox news write this “peer reviewed” paper with Dr Oz as a sponsor?
Swedish Cooking has been brought to you by this local Station and salmon fisheries around the world
The price of coffee and you.
About 3 years ago the price of coffee went up in all the coffee places around, which was understandable due to the market price of coffee went through the fucking roof. now that the markets are going back up yet again chains are putting there coffee prices slightly higher, the problem is the prices never went back down when the price of coffee (commodity) went down.
Yes the prices have jumped for year 2014 but look at the price in 2011 , we should of seen a decrease in those prices. I know someone will say BUT WHAT ABOUT ALL THE OTHER PRICES. Oil has stayed somewhat stable but what ever the fuck they do to increase on that is always a mystery, its like someone goes “SHIT the suns out SOMEONE INCREASE GAS PRICES QUICK!” . Milk prices are slightly up and there is a multitude of reasons for that that could get its own post, but considering the milk to coffee ratio it would have a lesser effect on the total price.
A lot of the times companies find the easy way to raise the price of things is “insert random thing happening here to a small portion of the total that really doesn’t have on effect on the thing in question”. Bob shit himself again.. RAISE PRICES! of all the times I’ve read about oil refinery fires and how they are going to spike gas prices , doing a little research you find out that said refinery is only responsible for 0.1% of total fuel production, that makes you go WTF are they making there? It seems every other commodity market has gone into the practice of manufactured disasters or some sort of market manipulation to increase prices.
CWT financed ten rounds of herd retirements from 2003 to 2010, during which CWT was responsible for removing over 500,000 cows from production, reducing the nation’s milk supply by approximately 10 billion pounds…. By the end of the program in 2010, it was responsible for a cumulative increase in milk price revenue of $9.55 billion.
That resulted in a class action suit for price fixing. Since its not about supply and demand, its more over about money and more money. So at this point I’ll stick to making my coffee at home.
Dunkin Donuts unveils coffee flavored donuts …….. WTF?
Apparently Dunkin Donuts just does not get it… they have completely lost connection with there customer base. They have released a Coffee flavored donut… Denis Leary has an opinion to this new donut.
Dunkin Donuts has lost there fucking minds. They are going to make coffee flavored donuts but not coffee fucking flavored coffee. Most dunkin donuts you walk into you have a shot in the dark on getting a coffee that is remotely drinkable for long. Generally when you order and iced coffee and use the system of dunkin donuts that they have , You can get an ok flavored coffee but when its hot outside by the time you walk 50 feet from the store you are drinking coffee water. Its an annoying prospect, it makes you want to fire your coffee like a hand grenade that really has no gratification.
The Glazed Coffee Creme donut is made with a glazed yeast shell and filled with coffee buttercream. It’s topped with a drizzle of chocolate icing. The Coffee, Creme & Sugar Donut is also made with a glazed yeast shell and stuffed with coffee butter creme and topped with powdered sugar. The two donuts will only be available for a limited time at participating Dunkin’ Donuts locations.
At a guess these donuts maybe a better flavor than their coffee , who knows I might stick a straw into a donut and just see. Honey Dew donuts on the other hand has gone to another extreme they have made a Maple Bacon donut.. Breakfast overload! They are not fucking around…
While bacon is good, Putting bacon on everything on the fucking planet just doesn’t work all the time.
No!
WTF?
MMMMM bacon tits…. but no.
YES! FUCKING BACON SANDWICH…
Anyways… enough bacon.. Dunkin Donuts is so proud of their new donuts they have put out a press release for it .
Dunkin’ Donuts also unveiled new Coffee Creme Donuts, the brand’s first donuts made with Dunkin’ Donuts’ famous Original Blend Coffee.
Utoh… re-read that… made with Dunkin’ Donuts’ famous Original Blend Coffee.. Joy! Boiled ass in donut form now! Rather than fuck with a time tested recipe for donuts .. why not make… COFFEE??? If Denis Leary walked into a dunkin donuts right now he’d go on a rampage , smoke 17 packs of cigarettes than go on the hunt for the elusive coffee flavored coffee.
Mind you these day the closest coffee places to me are Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks… its like a personal hell of coffee drinking, I’ve gone from getting coffee out of the house to getting coffee from the coffee maker. The last trip I made to starbucks was a 15 minute wait while 5 people could not figure out how to make coffee…. it was a strange and awe inspiring journey into a strange land, my hope for coffee places fades as they fuck about, I am waiting for the release of Bacon flavored sour patch kid coffee from either place at this rate.
What the hell? Part III
I’ve posted in the past about my goings in life… Rather Cryptically but nonetheless I’ve posted about it. Things are still the same as they have been. A bit quieter, A bit of new, a bit of old, Trying to rebuild my life from near scratch. You would figure in almost a year things would calm down or go away … No such luck, Its a painful thing, and I live with the hate thrown at me every day for crazy shit I’ve had nothing to do with. While this life is a new, and trying to rebuild and set a base for myself, Its a day to day struggle where I wake up each day and remind myself to move forward and not dwell in the past. I still want to be left alone by this person and they may never understand or even understand what damage they have done. As I work myself to the next step, I’ve finally followed up and started to update this site on a semi regular basis and while maybe no one reads this I am trying to get myself back into the swing of things.
On that note, updates will keep coming to the site as i try to find my place with the site again. After taking such a long break from coffeecommander I feel like I’ve slipped in my abilities with posts. While I can vomit out a 900 word post I am just feeling that I slipped where I could get more across in less words.
What the hell part II?
I’ve been trying to keep up a more updated pace to the website. But nothing like it used to be. While my days still start and end with coffee. Everything in between is still a bit chaotic. It seems wishful thinking on my part for one peaceful fucking day. With what pieces of my life I have left, they are essentially the most important to me. While being able to keep minor things , I’ve had to think about things and move forward with stuff finding a way to define myself.
Being more or less kicked to the street is a hurtful thing… been there. seen it. done it.. fuck it… While its been over two months since this has happened. the wound is still fresh and still getting torn into on occasion. I just wish to be left alone by the person that is causing all my issues in life. That person seems to have a psychosis to thinking I am still a part of there life and somehow still doing things. I just want to be left alone.
What the hell?
Every time I sit down and think to myself I should update this , I end up getting distracted lost or some crazy batshit thing happens. As the last few months for myself have been on the level of insanity a few can fathom. Normally its wake up , get a cup of coffee and start the day, and its all pretty strange when your cup of coffee has been coming from random locations..
My life has been blown up to little pieces more than a Michael Bay film Combined with a die hard sequal. Spending the last 2 months reassembling the pieces remain and keeping some dearly close to the heart while working with new pieces. Just for the craziness for what life is , it’s about moving forward with yourself. Keeping the insanity to a level that’s tolerable and finding that good cup of coffee when you can.. I normally don’t let people be privy to my personal life and the last few months has had me at a crossroads, A complete conversion to new things while leaving the old behind as for the old only let to a circular repeating track.
Moving ahead, I am going to try to update here more often. it has been something I’ve missed doing.
Stick this in your “cloud” and smoke it.
Everywhere you look these days you hear about that newfangled cloud thing…. and most people ask what the hell is the cloud. I tell them its a pile of shit buzzword. Watching TV you see the Microsoft commercials about the cloud and how you can access your stuff at home… Or your job… or the moon whatever the fuck.. Here’s and example of said “cloud”
For those whom have had there head buried in the sand or are quite possibly dead… this innovation is as old at the internet it self(of current not arpanet you silly ass).. its called network storage. Introduced in the 1980s
Network-attached storage Connects to Local Area Network via: Hard Drives via one of:
Common manufacturers HP
NetApp
Dell
Cisco
Netgear
CTERA
Sun MicrosystemsIntroduced 1980’s
Yes this amazing new cloud of bullshit buzzwords yay!
And this.. hmm this is not “cloud” like .. the fact these people are accessing there pc at home tells me …. Remote desktop .. YAY MORE OLD TECH CALLED CLOUD! Mind you the guy says “I just brought up our PC at home” yeah… that’s safe.. you’re flying to who the hell knows where and your leaving a PC on 24/7 while your away from the house, when the PC overheats and sets the house on fire – Your house will be a cloud! YAY CLOUD!!
This should be called the windows FartCloud technology
It’s the Cloud! ZOMG!
Microsoft’s idea of the cloud is pretty much rebranding old technology and calling it new.. Some of the other cloud innovations here are just blatantly scary , Such as software as a service .. that’s pretty much a baaaaaaaaaaaaad thing.. Your Office software you bought.. You know the 365 one … You don’t own it. at least the could portion.. also when Office 366 comes out.. and they shut down 365 … Forced upgrade… since your only paying for a service. your stuck in an upgrade cycle for money … Also you will have zero expectations of privacy .. Your account gets hacked? your shit is good as stolen.
What companies are banking on is that you buy into the cloud without any research thinking “Hey this is cool wizbang tech!”
When it comes down to office level this is going to be a nightmare.. as to finding your document or having documents that are not supposed to be public leaking out to the public, since the information would be on the “cloud” it maybe a passworded folder and you give it out and someone cleans out the office bank account because the boss left the banking information in the “Cloud”.
Better yet.. this is all on the internet.. the office connection goes down and productivity goes to zero since no one can access the files..
All these “cloud” services are going to open a black hole when some random company hosting your cloud goes out of business and you cant access your data anymore. not to mention there will likely be a monthly/yearly price to pay for this rather than paying a one time costs.. Its Like renting a car that you have no control over and only can do simple things on like turn on the lights and honk the horn yet your paying a cost X infinity , rather than a one time license cost. These companies will at first seem cheaper than buying software outright but when you figure that over a period of months or even years . the “cloud” costs will greatly exceed the software costs.
And I’ve said it many times… the cloud is just rehashed shit with rainbow farts and ponies with glitter just to stuplify the average user into thinking he is getting something better than it really is.
The risks building a company around the cloud is just insanely risky … From buying ultra cheap terminals that can only access the cloud, to having to build a connection that can handle massive amount of data throughput. if you have a company of 100 people all using the fartcloud you need 100 networked computers that has a zero lag time connection to manipulate data. if you have a crowd-sourced project with lag you will have 50 people fixing one problem and not realized that the other 50 just did the same thing and wasted about an hours of productivity due to each person wasting 30 seconds fixing a problem that was fixed by 1 person.
The idea of the cloud is just totally not a good idea in its current form since corporations are not looking at this as a productivity tool but more as a subscription for cash run.. since they have to sell nothing and get a fuckton of money.
In the end I really hope people understand what the cloud is and its not anything new nor is it worth it in any means of the word.
PSN – Its dead jim.
The other night I decided to play some game on the PlayStation 3, Little did i know it would turn into something much worse.
After spending about 3weeks without the ps3 after sending the thing for a repair for a disk issue, basically my ps3 either turned into HAL as a 3 year old with disks, Every few times when ejecting the disc it would start to eject than take the disc back in as if playing a game of keep away. When it started to happen I had called sony and was surprised by the tech support figuring that they would tell me that the drive has to blow up in an epic explosion – or you need mr scott to beam the disc out. Instead they offered to service the system. Thankfully the disc was not stuck in the system, anyways fast forward a few weeks after impatiently waiting to have the system back….
Around april 20th I figured i’d play the PS3, I was greeted by the PlayStation Network giving an obscure error code. “error 80710a06” while trying to log into the Playstation Network