I’ve made some hardware updates to my machine and really the biggest pain of any machine I’ve built is one thing… Windows XP. As I sit here I have a legit copy of the software but, Every time I’ve reinstalled since maybe the 5th time I’ve reinstalled over the years there is one nagging thing that outright just pisses me off.
Windows Activation….. Its basically the most annoying prospect on this planet. After entering the product key than clicking the keys in the small keys in the bottom right it says “you can activate windows over the Internet or over the phone” the Internet will be quickest and easiest .. my ass… if you have had windows a couple of years you will run into this same activation wall. Basically, once you have activated your windows a few times you will get an error:
“this copy of windows has been activated too many times”
An option for a entering another key comes up or you have to dial up the 1-800 Number, So you call the 800 number and you are greeted by a female robot that asks you questions. Rather than being able to input your answers by keypad your stuck with dealing with a voice response system. Now being a voice recognition system your already aggravated due to the point you have to speak like Anakin Skywalker from the first starwars movie, if you don’t speak with any emotion or even twinge the wrong way you should get through the first prompts ok, but when it comes to the next part which is speaking a forty-eight digit string of numbers.
You will need the powers of a jedi , A vulcan and an android in order not to loose your sanity.
8 groups of 6 numbers each , or so you think….. you start slowly and speak each number like every emotion has been ripped from your head and your the original terminator .. if you succeed you will hear a bell signaling that you’ve just passed the first trial, if not the “friendly” robot voice says it does not understand you and to repeat the numbers again. You try the numbers a second time and wait for the bell.. if not your treated to the third form of this torturous adventure. Keypad entry …. If you input the keys on a poor signal from say a cell phone, your fucked, because the robot will kick you back to voice prompt or the 4th option. If your lucky and you don’t fart breath the wrong way or scratch and itch you get to the end of the numbers. The robot now tells you to hold on and is validating your install.. You breath a sigh of relief for a mo- “sorry I can not validate this install You are now being transferred to a representative”
In the moment you channel every emotion you’ve held back in the past 5 minutes and try to channel enough anger over the phone hoping that the robot explodes. As your own robot demeanor slowly turns into darth vader after finding out his ship was towed for parking in a non-sith zone.
The thought of throwing the disc across the room and killing something with it comes to mind.. Finally you get an operator, They ask for the First six digits of the installation ID, Than after that it turns into a interrogation.
You get asked questions
- Did you buy this software at a store…
- How many Machines do you have this software installed on.
- Is this your first time activating this software
- How many machines is this software installed on(again)
This is what pisses me off to the core.. I purchased this software from a fucking store.. I have in my hand the damn case for the disk an original CD and now I’m getting 20 questions? I did not pirate the damn thing.. (who would be stupid enough to call on a pirated disk ? ) And the fact they ask you twice about how many machines its installed on is just about Saying your trying to steal the disk. what the fuck? How about instead of beating around the bush.. just ask outright . ARE YOU STEALING THIS SOFTWARE! After the interrogation you get to the next fun part of the “easy activation”
Now i have nothing against foreign call centers but at this point your bloods boiling you’ve just used every ounce of mental strength not to go batshit crazy over the phone and now the fun begins.. you are read a forty-two digit code from someone who does have an accent that sometimes can be VERY hard to understand. So at times your asking to go back but occasionally you will get a person who is rattles off the numbers like they’re an Auctioneer onethreefoursevensixfive HOOOOOOOOOLD THE FUCK ON…
after what seems forever and a day and half you finally get through this depleted and wanting to kill something you have windows activated till the next time you upgrade/something goes wrong/you look at windows the wrong way/ your cat sneezes.
this activation crap needs to be fine tuned .. or at least have some sort of system where you can de-authorize an activation like bioshock did. Honestly when it comes to the next edition of windows or even Vista I cant afford it. So I’m stuck on XP. But every time I’ve had a problem i don’t feel like saying more numbers than a Stock sheet in the newspaper.
If you look at it, Its a 48 to 96+ digits for an installation key because of the autobot phone lady, Not to mention if that fails its another 48+ digits after that. six more digits If you get “too many activations and the megamaid robot cant authorize your windows”. Than another 42+ digits for the “confirmation ID”, so in total its anywhere from
Ninety-six to one-hundred and ninety-two spoken numbers over the phone.. that’s just totally insane.